On Changes, Expectations, and Problems (Guest Post)

Today's guest post comes from a friend who sometimes goes by Scott Sowka but you may know him by other names as well.  I would add that the more you put into this family, the more you get out you can't see the rainbow if you don't have rain!

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I have a lot of sympathy for what B....  was feeling in the OP. Sometimes, being the resident adult can stretch a person thin and drain the tanks. Definitely been there on more than one occasion. Having said that, ... I'm going to push an alternate rap here.

Gatherings aren't safe. They aren't fun. They never have been. Their purpose was never to be an escape with your friends, and their reality has always been less than ideal. If you were under the false impression that they were those things, it was because you were caught up in the magic, temporarily blinded by the mind-blowing experience of existing in a real community built on unconditional love, and coddled by our elders, who selflessly worked behind the scenes to craft the culture. The truth is, there have always been cops, violent people, alcohol, drama, root fires, bad sanitation, and every other problem under the sun. Always.

There are only two major things that are changing, and they are related. The first is that the torch is being passed down. Our founders are dying, or getting too sick to come home. The wizards who used to weave the magic and keep the bullshit bound can no longer do so. The other thing that's changing is your perception. The magic isn't so magical to the person fueling it with their sweat and tears. You are seeing behind the curtain, becoming a wizard yourself. It is not an easy task. Often, it's not a pleasant task, but it is rewarding.

I don't ever go to a gathering expecting it to be something. I go there expecting to make something out of the chaos. That's meant being in danger, breaking up fights, putting out fires, cleaning up other people's messes, dealing with ego and entitlement, and a bunch of other unsavory stuff. Why go then? The moment where the schwilly kid gets sober, when the meek girl escapes her abuser, when the new kid cooks circle, when the 6up carries a water run, when the barefoot bliss ninny builds public shelters in the snow. Everyone is welcome because the lowliest and least likely to be invited are the ones who need us most. We are culture crafting and teaching lessons that have been carried out into Babylon for decades. It's important, and I don't intend to let my personal hardships dissuade my participation.

Here's my advice to those of you who are not getting the experience you desire, and it's the exact same advice that the problem children need to grok... Don't come to Rainbow for what you can get out of it. Come for what you intend to put into it. Not only will that help to fix the problems you are seeing, it will also ensure that you'll leave feeling satisfied, even when it's one of those gatherings that takes every ounce of your magic and still seems to be a shit show.